Diapers, diapers, diapers :-(

Well, if it's ever not been official, it's official now. I hate diapers. I really and truly hate them. I don't know how I would live without them, but I still have a strong distaste for them. I know, I know, it's something that you just have to live with... what would we do without them? They make our lives so much easier, I can go to the grocery store without worrying if Levi will pee on the fresh produce or make a mess in the cart. Yes, they are cleaner in a way, but yesterday... well... Let me just tell you.

Usually Levi just poops once and whatever. Usually I'm pretty aware of what's going on, or I check him often, change him often. Yesterday I lost my brain. I seriously don't know where it went. I went to my mom's house and he had pooped in his diaper, for the second time that day... so surely he was done. (We are rarely EC'ing these days and I'll explain why in a minute). Towards the end of our visit Levi was definitely showing signs of sleepiness, so we rushed home to get to bed. I didn't even think of checking him. I nursed him and tried to put him down but he woke up as soon as I laid him in his bed. Oh well, usually it's just a few cries and then he is out. No, he cried and cried. I kept thinking, "Surely he'll go to sleep in a few minutes." Then he would be quiet for maybe 5-10 minutes, then cry for a few minutes, then scream, but usually he cries the hardest just before he drifts off as if to say, "I'll give one last strong effort before I give up." But this time he didn't drift off back to sleep. (Another side note: I wish I had a video monitor and could see if he really went to sleep or was just sitting quiet and awake in his crib.) Okay, so in the end he didn't sleep at all. I got him up and it crossed my mind to change him but for some reason I didn't. I had dinner to fix, stuff to clean, he seemed okay. I thought his random times of being upset were from his teething he has been doing lately. Well, here's the terrible part, it was 6:30 after we had eaten and everything, we were sitting there, playing with him, watching him play and I realized I hadn't changed his diaper since about one. Yeah. One o'clock. Five and a half hours he had been sitting in, get this, poop. I wanted to cry when I opened up his diaper. Just that guilty feeling and then everything making sense as to why he wouldn't go to sleep, why he was so fussy... His little bottom was red and you could just tell he had been sitting in it for a while. Ugh. It wasn't really stinky, so I had no idea. Now I'm going to be paranoid about checking him.

Okay, we are not EC'ing as much right now for several reasons:
- It's cold, we are all wearing more clothing and which makes it harder to strip down and take the diaper off and get on the cold potty chair. Those little snappy things that snap under his crotch don't make things any easier. But I snap them so he can be warm, otherwise his little belly gets cold.
- He just started walking and could not care less about the toilet. He's so busy exploring and loving this new walking phase that he gets pretty upset when I put him on it. So I think it's best if we back off right now. That way he won't have negative associations with the potty. We still talk about it when he is pooping and mommy and daddy have an open-door policy when it comes to going to the bathroom (I'm sure y'all really wanted to know that, didn't you? Yeah. :))
-The coldness is not conducive to any diaper-free time. It's cold on his little bottom when he runs around without a diaper on. Plus those little t-shirts get wet whenever he pees and I'm not into changing his clothes 3-4 times a day. Not cool.

Okay, just as another side note, as I was washing dishes today and brooding about diapers I will just list off another few reasons to dislike them:
- They are hazardous to the environment, I think it takes about 700 years for one to bio-degrade.
- They remove any awareness of the child's wetness when they pee
- They cost a lot of money. The cloth diapers we use were about 18 dollars a piece, but I found that I am actually SAVING money by using them because the average bargain value diaper is about 20 cents. If I use each diaper 100 times I will have made my money back. But then I need to also factor in the cost of detergent and water... The average person spends about $2500 on diapers in the first two years of their child's life. That's ridiculous. (I do use paper diapers when we go to the nursery or when I remember and bring him to grandma's house, I buy a $10 package of them about every 3 weeks or so.)
- They hold the poop next to your baby's soft, new little baby bottom. I think that might be the worst part for me. We struggle a lot with diaper rashes and sometimes I've realized that my sweet boy is in a bad mood because his skin is hurting him.

Okay, that's my whole rant and rave.

I asked the Lord, "Why? Why did you make this so hard? Is it because of the fall? Would we not have had this problem if it weren't for sin?" We live in a fallen world and so life IS hard, it just is. Maybe potty training is part of that. I keep hearing horror stories of the difficulties of it. I wonder what the other women of the world, who practice EC as part of their lives struggle with in regards to it. I wonder if they hate EC'ing as much as I hate diapers. Maybe they hate having to walk places as much as I hate having to strap my little one into a car seat. Maybe each country and each culture has it's own set of difficulties for a mother to walk through, to persevere through. I'm thankful that I have the future hope of glory and to leave all of this behind someday and live a life of peace with my Savior. May I always teach my children of this great God, always fix our eyes on heaven as we labor through this earth.

Naps

Some days I am convinced I know absolutely nothing about mothering.

Thought Levi needed to go down at 9 but then didn't fall asleep until 10:30 ... and now is awake at 11

And yet he is still such a good little boy.