I hate it when I mess up Levi's naps.
It was all my fault. I didn't feed him enough. I left him with my husband who wasn't feeling very well and he didn't know Levi's schedule and didn't feed him enough and laid him down for a nap too early (any mom knows the consequences of laying a child down for a nap too early: they don't sleep long enough!) and then when I came home he had a terrible diaper rash (should not have put him in his cloth diapers, should have kept slathering on the nystatin and desitin).
Twice I tried to lay him down later that afternoon. Twice I failed.
I am so tired. I'm tired of dealing with a whiny, fussy little boy, I'm tired from all the other stuff in life that is stressing me out, I'm tired of the rain, tired of having to plan and fix dinner, I want to go to the prayer meeting tonight, but Levi for sure won't last...
It's me, it's me, it's me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer.
I feel like I'm hanging by a thread sometimes. The schedule is off and I'm annoyed at everyone. I'm discouraged from some interactions with other believers today... believers? I hate it when that happens. How does that happen? I want to be renewed.
I am weary.
Please help me Lord, I know that You can give me the strength. I know that Your will is perfect, and if that is to stay home with my little boy, then that's okay.
Jesus, I am in your hands. My family is in your hands. Help me to have an eternal perspective.