Saturday, October 16, 2010

Dear Levi,

I am so sorry about today. Mommy thought that you were dropping a nap and so I pushed you all the way until 12 when you were probably actually ready to go down at 10. Of course since you were overtired you only slept for an hour and then woke up. Daddy and I hoped you would fall back to sleep and so that's why we let you cry in your crib before we came and got you. I'm sorry you felt so fussy and had a sad afternoon. I'm sorry that we had all that nursing and you still couldn't get a nap in. I wish I could have some how communicated to you that you would have been so much happier at the picnic if only you had slept more in the afternoon, but of course, we already discussed how that was mom's fault. You are my first baby and I don't always get everything right. I am so sorry, but that will probably be the story for you for the rest of your life.

With all my heart and love,


P.S. Would you mind letting us know when you are about to poop? Especially if we are about to put a clean diaper on you or something like that?

Yes, today was rough. I take full responsibility. I delusionally thought my 10 1/2 month old was dropping down to one nap after he didn't sleep all that much on Thursday or Friday. I threw all my mommy sense out the window and purposely ignored Levi's sleepy signs only to have him crash at noon and wake up a mere hour later. By the time we got to bedtime and a much-needed bath he was hysterical. Usually he gets excited and happy about bathtimes but this time he cried as we were filling up the tub, cried as I put him in it, cried as I poured water over his head, cried as I shampooed his little head, ... well, you get the picture. Relief finally came when it was time to nurse and then he was out 15 minutes later. What a relief.

So, I think I'm not gonna try to drop a nap unless he's ready. I think I'll know when he's ready and he'll let me know.

Being a mom is tough, and I'm sure I've just started scratching the surface.

EC update: put him on the potty twice today and got half a pee. I can't remember the last time he pooped on the potty... I was so sure he was pooping on it today. It was so disappointing to take him off and see a little tee tee drizzle. It's often tempting to give up, but I sort of feel like it would be stupid to give up and not try it at all. If anything, we are just going to scale back. I think that always gets us back on track, just stepping back and not taking ourselves too seriously.

Happy EC'ing everyone!

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