Thursday, June 10, 2010

stay at home mommy-ing

Okay, so here's my confession: Levi hasn't pooped in his potty since I don't know when. Maybe since Memorial Day. He hasn't pooped much in general, but each time it was a total surprise and I didn't have time to put him on his potty or he had just woken up from a nap and didn't tell me, etc. He hasn't had many pees either. That I can remember, I think I've caught maybe one or two in the past two days.
I was thinking about this as I was changing him today, thinking, well, I'm gonna have to tell everyone that I haven't been doing very well. But the real truth is that he has been sick, which always throws everything off, and he still has eczema on pretty bad. It's red and bumpy from about his belly button all the way down to his hips. He tries to scratch it and tends to be pretty fussy when it flairs up. Since his blood test showed up negative for allergies I didn't know what to do. So today I thought, "Why have I not been detective and determined about this thing to figure out why he still has this rash?" I guess I just thought it would eventually go away. He's not allergic to anything, therefore, he'll be fine. Levi is not fine. He doesn't look fine, life is no fun right now because of this stupid, itchy rash. So I called the Dr.'s office and talked to a nurse and I described the situation and she said we just needed to come in. So we are going to the Dr. tomorrow morning. I'm praying we get things figured out.

On another note, just a note about motherhood and this new place in life that I have found myself in. How often I compare myself to others. How often I question my abilities, I question my mothering especially... so many times I feel like I am just frittering my day away, it's just minutes ticking by and I don't like the silence so I listen to podcasts or watch a few webisodes (I love watching the Duggars, so inspirational for being a good mommy) ... but then I come to the end of the day and realize I haven't had any real conversations with anyone. I realize I have been listening to people talk all day. I have been checking my face book or my blog or my email to see if I can have contact with the outside world. Maybe someone would text me or call me. Sometimes I feel like I'm desperate for human contact and then other times I want to avoid it because I am tired and don't want to have to actually formulate words and conversation. I know that sounds weird.

I'm beginning to think that isolation is a definite struggle for the stay at home mom. How do we keep ourselves from being isolated? Especially when our little one takes two to three naps a day and we want them to be good, solid naps so they won't be fussy and cranky? I want to have meaningful relationships, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard or I want it too badly.

I wish I lived in community better.


  1. Jody,

    If it is eczema you could try using aquaphor. Michael had it pretty bad on his face around 2 months and to quickly get rid of it we got a prescription steroid, but now I just use aquaphor on his face at bedtime and it really helps. It is super greasy so that is why I only use it at bedtime.

    I have days where I feel disconnected, but am "too tired" to make the effort to do anything about it. Plus, it is so hard to find the right time to connect with another mommy b/c our kiddos have different schedules, etc. I am usually happy if i get out 1x per week with other moms. The other thing i try to do is invite other moms over (maybe ones whose kiddos don't need a morning nap).

    don't know if any of that was helpful, but I am praying for you.

    Oh, and michael hasn't pooped in the potty in forever. He only poops 1x (maybe 2 if we are lucky) a week and it is always out of the blue. Like this week he did it when we got to Pennys to get their pics done. Thankfully it only got on the bottom of his outfit so you can't see it in pictures ;)

  2. aquaphor... I will look into that! Thanks Jen! I'm hoping we will be able to get to the bottom of it and hopefully that will help in the future.

    That's hilarious about pooping at Penny's! Babies have the most perfect timing don't they?! Oh man, another way that God is teaching me I have no control... Thank you Lord.

  3. Any chance it could be a yeast infection? Jonathan has had a pretty bad "diaper rash" that wasn't going away with any of the typical diaper rash treatments. Found out was a yeast infection instead, and now with the proper treatment it is healing up nicely.

  4. Well, we've been to two Dr's appointments about it now and finally were prescribed a creme with some sterroids, just to attack the rash. I think it was a fungal in parts and then eczema in parts, so she said this should wipe it out completely. I'm hoping if I crack down more on EC and get him peeing less in his diaper that might help. We'll see.
    This stuff should take care of it though.

  5. I have weeks when I feel very isolated. I understand. It gets much easier when they are older and nap less. We have a lot more freedom now that Shep only naps once like Conner. Do you have any friends with babies? It always encourages me to be with other Moms and hear their joys and struggles in motherhood. It reminds me that I'm not alone. Lots of days I wonder what I actually did all day. I wish the boys and I could come over and play with you!