While Levi is sitting diaperless on the floor I'm gonna go ahead and post. :)
Yesterday was yet another confusing, difficult day in my EC world. He was good in the respect that he slept a lot, didn't complain, we went on a walk and I just wore him the whole time, but he only peed on the potty and that was probably about three times. I missed every single one of this poops. I think he might have had four poopy diapers. He peed on me three times that morning as we were sitting there and playing without a diaper on.
So as I was thinking about it this morning I was disappointed that I wouldn't have very much positive to report on my new lovely blog. But then I realized that this blog is not to puff up my pride in what I am doing with my baby, it is to record and share my weakest moments as well as my strongest ones. This week has been difficult, I feel totally out of sync with Levi, either he is just irregular or I'm missing every signal he is doing, or I'm just too busy. (I'm really not that busy) It makes me feel like a failure. Do you ever have those mom moments where you feel like you are the worst mommy in the world? Everyone around you is perfect and their children are perfect and here you are that you don't even know why your child is crying? I have those moments.
I need to rebuke those moments and tell them to shut up. I am a good mommy because I love and care for my child. I feed him, I change him, I stick him on his potty when I can. I don't let him cry longer than 30 mins on his own... I am a good mommy. I try to hold him and play with him every day, not all day, but at least once a day. I need to just remember that the "bad mommy" voices are not from God and they are not my portion.
Okay, seriously, this just happened. I took a break from writing to get down on the floor with Levi and just see if he would go. He was moving a lot and we had just nursed about 15 mins ago and he had already peed into his potty. I put him on it, made the noise and thought, "What am I doing?" and at that moment he peed and pooped. I don't know why, but that little sound is like money for me! Yes, I am a crazy mom, but I'm guessing you other moms know what I mean. :)
Okay, so I am back on the wagon, back in the saddle or whatever you want to call it. Another day moves on.
Yay! I had no idea you blogged! Did I tell you that I dreamed about you and Levi recently. We were sitting together across from each other at a table. I was so excited because I was finally going to get to hold Levi. And right as I held my arms out to pick him up you were like "Julie what are you doing? We're talking on the computer and you can't hold him because you're 1000 miles away in Chattanooga." It was so sad.
ReplyDeleteJody, I know exactly what you mean about the bad mommy voices. I have them a lot and have a really hard time ignoring them. Just this morning I woke up exhausted b/c it is the end of a busy week and Michael was up every 2 hours last night. Then I could not get him to nap at all this morning so he spent most of the morning crying and then Maddie was being so clingy and fussy. That being said, I know there were a few times I wasn't the nicest mommy to her. I was short with her and I feel terrible about it. I did apologize and ask her to forgive me (not that she gets it, but I needed to do it), but I just wish I wouldn't do that. My kids are more precious to me than anything and I hate when I treat them as anything less. Anyway, I am so thankful that God forgives me and gives me the strength I need so that when those times come again I can respond better, despite how extremely tired I am!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you too, Jody! Anna was screaming like crazy last night and it ended up she was totally constipated. I have started giving her solids and she has had rice cereal, bananas, carrots, and peas. The only item in that list that does not cause constipation is peas. You would think I would know this since she is my 3rd child. You at least can claim "new mommy" status. I, on the otherhand, have absolutely no excuse! :)
ReplyDeleteYes, the Lord continues to humble me and teach me that I need to rely on him continually throughout the day.
Love your blog by the way!! :)
I had a humbling EC day yesterday. Those are good for my pride that swells easily. I was peed on 3 times and missed 2 of Caroline's poops. I had some of those "I'm just going to slap a diaper on and forget about it today!" moments. It's times like those that I need to step back and remember what is important. EC with Caroline is such a small thing in light of eternity. My heart (Am I humble? Am I patient? Am I joyful?) is what the Lord cares about. Keeping it all in perspective. And...you ARE a WONDERFUL mom, Jody. You have prayed for, loved, and wanted the best for Levi from the time he was the size of a split-pea in your belly. Yay for rebuking those lies that love to creep into the mind so easily. "Whatsoever things are true...think on these things." Love you Jody!
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