Being a mom

After several early mornings in a row, waking up in the middle of the night and naps that were too short, Levi finally slept all night last night and only woke up at 5:30 to nurse and then slept in until 7:30! What a blessing and a miracle! I was bound and determined to wake up early this morning, set my heart toward it last night. I've just needed some good alone time in the Word and God was so faithful to me! I know it doesn't always work out that way, there's no dealing or bargaining with God, but I feel like it was just a huge encouragement to be able to wake up to nurse Levi, then get into the Word. The other good thing was that Levi woke up rested and happy. Whew, it's been a while since he was in this state of mind it feels.

I remember as I was sitting there with him in my arms I was thinking, "Being a mom is the best thing I have ever done." I mean, besides being a wife, which will always be my first priority and relationship in my life, being a mom has been surprisingly ... amazing, fulfilling, beautiful, difficult, ... just having my own little boy who came from my husband and me, who took a long time to get here, who changes and grows and learns new things, who makes us laugh and frustrates us at the same time and so much more that I couldn't even describe right now. I am truly understanding the scripture that says "Children are a blessing from the Lord" It is a truth that is sinking deeper and deeper into my heart. As I watch him smile and play and make all of his funny faces, show like and dislike for things and just learn his ways I am amazed. I get excited about watching him grow, I don't want it to happen too fast, but I am excited all the same.

Well, I smell a poopy diaper. Blah. I hate poopy diapers.

Oh yes, and here's a little something Levi typed as he was cruising past me on the couch:

q`1``qqa1q1q1q1` 2q``

Our EC update: we had one pee on the potty last week. I was laying him down to change his diaper and I asked him if he needed to pee. He nodded his head "yes" as he does when you ask him any question. But I went ahead and picked him up and took him to the potty where he peed (mostly in the toilet, the rest I had to wipe off the floor in front of him.)
Other than that, he hasn't gone on the potty much. I put him on it about once a day. So, we haven't been too "successful" lately. But that's not what it's all
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Levi says goodbye

Wow, it feels like I haven't posted in a while. This week we've only had half a poop on the potty. No pees. Sigh. I'm still putting him on, but I feel like I do it at all the wrong times. It's like I know he's already gone, but I put him on anyways... and then I hope, pray, dream that he will go on it, when I know he doesn't need to.

Oh well, he's been going through some sickness, and I think he is starting to walk. It's just a few steps here and there, but it is always such a surprise for me. I love it!

He's starting to say words like "ba" for ball or "boo" for book. He kind of has learned to say "thank you" he more says just the tone and whatever syllables he can get out.

My favorite thing (it's really hard to pick) is that when I reach for him he stretches out his arms as far as they will go for me. It's like he's reaching back for me with his whole self. I have a feeling he's going to be a passionate little boy.

I'm still hoping to get potty training done early. He's only a year now, so maybe in the next couple of months?? ha ha!

We'll see.

Well, I was going to go volunteer at the Crisis Pregnancy Center early today, but it seems that Levi is still napping. So I see I have some time :)
Yes, I do bring him with me some days. I don't want to wear out my mom and Ben's mom with all the taking care of Levi. I also sort of feel that as a mom I shouldn't let it hinder me from serving and giving of myself. Also, the other ladies at CPC love him :) All these are good reasons to bring him today.

I was just reading online and pumping. I kind of hate pumping. I love the results, but I hate the process. Levi is starting to be weaned... and my supply is fine, but he's just not as into cows milk as he is, well, mine. I guess I should be flattered at this, but it's kind of annoying I guess. I would like to keep breastfeeding through the winter with all the sickness and everything, but then at the same time it would be nice to be able to leave him to spend the night at his grandparents, or just to not have to think about it and plan on his "feedings" ... I don't know. I think I'll just continue to do it for now. If he eventually stops I won't be hurt, but he doesn't seem to be losing interest.

Anyways, we had a poop on the potty the other morning and this morning we had a pee on the potty. I kind of wonder if I'm confusing him when we do it part time. I always talk to him as I change his diaper that we need to poop and pee on the toilet like mommy and daddy do. I put him on his little potty about once or twice a day. More or less depending on what our schedule looks like. He's still kind of hanging onto a runny nose and I've been trying to fight it, but it's just difficult. I've rubbed vapor rub on his chest and back and feet, I've run the humidifier for every nap and all night, we've done the aspirator, Benadryl, Tylenol... We are going for his one year old check up tomorrow so maybe the Dr can give me some insight. I just hope it's not way worse than I thought it was.

We'll see.

Hope you have a wonderful day with kiddos today!

Well, we are currently not EC-ing at all. That's what happens when you get sick, you drop something. Probably when he gets better I'll start putting him back on the potty again. For now, we are taking a break and focusing on healing.

Yes, Levi came down with something, it might have been on Friday, might have been on Saturday, I'm not sure. By Sunday he was a sad little case. He either slept, cried, or nursed all day long. It wasn't until last night that I started putting saline drops in his nose and aspirating it. I tried aspirating it earlier but with not much success. I want to thank Marcie for suggesting the drops. We got a lot of snot out this morning! :)

The really sad part is that today is his birthday. I mean, it's a good day, don't get me wrong and I am so happy it is, but the sad thing is that he is sick! His daddy is sick too, so it's just not a good day all around. Plus it's overcast and rainy and being cooped up in the house all day is just not an ideal situation. Hopefully it will feel more like a birthday on Saturday when we have our big family party. I'm praying I won't get whatever the boys have, or else I will have some serious issues on my hands trying to make cakes on Saturday. ... yikes!

Anyways, there are days when I wonder if all of this is worth it. I hope it is. I will let you know. :)

learning new things

Yesterday Levi learned how to point with just one finger. :) He had been pointing with all four of his fingers, but yesterday as he watched me point at something he looked down at his hand, made sort of what looked like a sign language "K" and then pointed at it as well. These are the simple things in my life that bring laughter and joy to my heart. To watch him take it in, process it and then put it into practice... I love it.

I was also amazed that as I was having my quiet time yesterday he was crawling around and would come "visit" me and start to hit on my journal or take my pen, so I told him he needed to stop bothering me right now and go play with his book on the floor. I pointed at his book and explained to him that mommy needs to read her Bible right now and he needs to wait and go read his book. He looked over, pointed and then dropped to his knees and crawled over and started turning the pages of the book! He understood me! And he obeyed me! (Even more amazing) What an incredible child I have. I don't even care that he's not walking yet, he's obeying and that's way better in my opinion. He definitely knows the word "no" but now I think he's understanding that he needs to walk away from temptation.

Another new thing he's doing is that we have a collage picture frame in our hallway and he always wants to stop and look at it. He points to himself in it as well. He used to point with all four of his fingers and this morning he pointed with just one :)

I'm slowly realizing that I need to put more pictures up. :) and get more books.

Oh yes, and he peed on the potty this morning.

The stars aligned. Levi had two poops on the potty in 12 hours, one last night and then one this morning. I totally wasn't expecting him to actually go, I just thought, well, he might. It's helped to have a book available or to bring the potty out of the bathroom so he doesn't feel so isolated from everyone. (He loves just having people around, not always necessarily interacting with people, but just not to be alone.)

So I thought life was great, his poops were fairly solid, maybe we are out of that horrible mushy poops 5-times-a-day phase... and then I got a present during his morning nap. In his cloth diaper that doesn't just "shake out" of his diaper. ... Pride comes before the fall. I am always reminded that when I'm on top of the world, the bottom is just around the corner. :) But then we had a pee on the potty and that was cool.

Whatever.

Daylight Savings Time is killing me. Whoever freaking thought of the idea didn't have children who take regular naps and have regular bedtimes. I had Levi sleeping in until 7, everything was perfect and sunshine and roses and then evil DST came in and killed it all! So we are slowly pushing back naps and bedtime and trying to get him to sleep later, having to leave him in his crib to cry from 6-6:30 and then 6:30-7, so I think we might be able to push him back, but it's just a lot of unnecessary crying. Poor little fella didn't get the memo. I'm sure a lot of other babies didn't get it either. Oh well, this too shall pass.

Levi just gets better and better with each day. He becomes more curious, he learns to do more things (he can wave bye bye now) and just keeps getting cuter. I'm trying to talk to him in full sentences as much as possible. It's tempting with him to speak in simple terms and one word sentences, but I kind of think it would help his language skills if I spoke to him as though he were an adult and he could be used to the English language in that way. I ask him if he needs to go potty, I talk to him about how he doesn't need to poop in his diaper but he needs to poop in his toilet and it will be cleaner that way. He usually just looks at me with his big brown eyes and smiles. And I laugh.

I probably laugh too much at him. He does naughty things and it's all I can do to keep from bursting out sometimes. He really loves to reach his chubby little fingers around my computer and press the buttons on the keyboard. It's funny and frustrating at the same time. That's probably when he thinks his name is "No"

EC-ing has been a bit discouraging lately. I have to keep reminding myself that it's a process. It's not a one-time, one-day and-you-have-it-all-figured-out potty training experience. It's just being aware of his needs, his patterns, etc. That's been kind of hard with him being sick lately. Yesterday I woke up to bad diarreah, both at 6 am and then at 7. Washing out two diapers first thing in the morning is never really that appealing. That's usually when I curse cloth diapering. The rest of the time I love it.

I think we just need some more diaper-free time. We need to step back and not take ourselves too seriously.

Hope you are all enjoying your babies as much as I am!

Road Trippin'

We went to Kansas City this past weekend. It's about a 7 or 8 hour drive, longer with stops. It feels even longer with a baby. Levi's not a terrible traveller, but he gets tired of the car just like the rest of us. Usually during those trips he reaches his breaking point during the last hour or so. He vocalizes his discontentment to the rest of us.

Okay, so EC-ing on the trip up actually went WONDERFULLY. That morning before we left I put him on the potty and he peed. He had already had his poop in his diaper that morning, so that was over with (one a day for little buddy). We got in the car and headed to Russellville to pick up Kelsey. It takes about an hour and he was awake but happy during that time. In Russellville I nursed him and then took him outside to pee. We were at Kelsey's dorm and so I just took him over to the side and he peed right there in the grass. It was like he was holding it because I took his diaper off and cued him and a few seconds later a little stream of pee came!

Our next stop was in Fayetteville to add my brothers and sister-in-law. We stopped at Chic-Fil-A and I tried to potty him in the bathroom but he just wasn't ready I guess. So after we ate I took him out to the van and nursed him. He just had a diaper and t shirt on and there was a patch of grass so after he was done I let him play in the grass for a minute. Then it occured to me to check his diaper, dry. Hmmm, so I pulled it aside and cued him right there in the parking lot on the patch of grass. Yes, there were cars driving by (I wasn't really thinking about that at the time) and yes, his little stream of pee came out. :) And yes, my family watched from the restaurant. When I proudly came in with my little boy and his dry diaper they were all shaking their heads at me, but secretly laughing I'm sure. I really don't give a care.

Our third stop was at a gas station with a Denny's. I quietly took Levi to some bushes far from the public eye and cued him again. He peed yet another time. My son is amazing. He kept his diaper dry for most of the trip! We probably only used about 4 diapers that day, are you impressed? You should be.

Well, for the rest of the four day trip he did not go once outside or inside regardless of my coaxing. I take that back, I think he did go once when we were outside. But for the most part I missed most of the time. That was fine because all the people and we didn't take his potty (it's getting too small and he usually pees out of it instead of in it, I'm gonna buy a new one on Friday). Besides that my family kept telling me that I was teaching him to just pee anywhere. Well, I don't really think so because he pees on the potty at home, I was just using the convenience of the great outdoors and avoiding the nasty gas station bathrooms that smell funny anyways... who would really want to use one of those things anyways? I'm always standing over the potty and holding him thinking, "this is not natural at all, why am I doing this?" He likes being outside in general anyways and if it keeps him from sitting in a wet diaper in the car all day I don't really care.

So, that's my road trip story. I hope you all enjoyed it. :)

Okay, I think I figured out how to do the link :) I'm seriously computer illiterate but here goes

video

We had a poop on the potty this morning! I have decided to try a sort of new approach where I take him to go whenever I go. Especially for pees I think it helps him to hear me going ... TMI, I know, I'm really sorry, but that's just the truth. We talk about going pee pee or poo poo in the potty and that's where it belongs, I praise him for having a dry diaper, one afternoon we used the same diaper and he kept it dry the entire time, we just took it off to pee pee and then put it back on when we were done.

I was encouraged by this video I found on Elimination Communication.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQk74whCabE


I pretty much love their accents, I am not an "attachment parenting" gung ho believer, but I thought it was interesting that she timed her baby's pees. I never really thought of that, so I've been trying to take him about every 45 minutes (when I can remember, and I don't stress over it) and just try to keep in communication with him.

By no means is this process perfect, but it's slowly teaching me about his needs in that area.

Levi will be 11 months on Saturday. Craziness.

Oh yes, and I want to recommend watching the movie "Babies" It's pretty awesome, especially if you are a mom. I'm hoping to comment on it more later. For now I gotta go.

Happy ECing!

Dear Levi,

I am so sorry about today. Mommy thought that you were dropping a nap and so I pushed you all the way until 12 when you were probably actually ready to go down at 10. Of course since you were overtired you only slept for an hour and then woke up. Daddy and I hoped you would fall back to sleep and so that's why we let you cry in your crib before we came and got you. I'm sorry you felt so fussy and had a sad afternoon. I'm sorry that we had all that nursing and you still couldn't get a nap in. I wish I could have some how communicated to you that you would have been so much happier at the picnic if only you had slept more in the afternoon, but of course, we already discussed how that was mom's fault. You are my first baby and I don't always get everything right. I am so sorry, but that will probably be the story for you for the rest of your life.

With all my heart and love,

Mommy

P.S. Would you mind letting us know when you are about to poop? Especially if we are about to put a clean diaper on you or something like that?


Yes, today was rough. I take full responsibility. I delusionally thought my 10 1/2 month old was dropping down to one nap after he didn't sleep all that much on Thursday or Friday. I threw all my mommy sense out the window and purposely ignored Levi's sleepy signs only to have him crash at noon and wake up a mere hour later. By the time we got to bedtime and a much-needed bath he was hysterical. Usually he gets excited and happy about bathtimes but this time he cried as we were filling up the tub, cried as I put him in it, cried as I poured water over his head, cried as I shampooed his little head, ... well, you get the picture. Relief finally came when it was time to nurse and then he was out 15 minutes later. What a relief.

So, I think I'm not gonna try to drop a nap unless he's ready. I think I'll know when he's ready and he'll let me know.

Being a mom is tough, and I'm sure I've just started scratching the surface.

EC update: put him on the potty twice today and got half a pee. I can't remember the last time he pooped on the potty... I was so sure he was pooping on it today. It was so disappointing to take him off and see a little tee tee drizzle. It's often tempting to give up, but I sort of feel like it would be stupid to give up and not try it at all. If anything, we are just going to scale back. I think that always gets us back on track, just stepping back and not taking ourselves too seriously.

Happy EC'ing everyone!

Children are a blessing from the Lord. Been thinking about that a lot lately and how it's not always automatic that we will be blessed with children. It's not "as soon as we stop using birth control" though, it is for some people, like a dear friend of mine. But there are other dear friends who have been trying for a while. I'm careful when I talk to them because I know that they are longing for what I have been blessed with. The thought sometimes crosses my mind, "what if Levi is the only child God chooses to bless us with?" How weird is that, that my fears of not being able to conceive again would already start when he is only 10 months? It's possible. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant, I've taken a test recently and I wasn't, just so everyone knows :) ... and we're still nursing, so that could be why... Also, there's the factor that Levi was a C section baby and what that could mean for future babies, those little fears... I hate them, and why do I think of them? The one thing that I know is that God is good. There is enough to worry about today, Levi is enough children for me to handle today, to love today, I will run my errands, teach my piano lesson, prepare dinner and that will be enough for today. I am not to worry about tomorrow and what it will bring, it is in the Lord's hands.

Okay, this is supposed to be an EC blog right? Well, Levi's been sick lately and he's sleeping long for his nap, this is good, it's why I'm posting. We have missed many of his recent poops, so when I put him on the potty this morning I thought, "why try?" It's really a battle to get him to sit still, we are singing and clapping hands, I get toys and he still wants to crawl off. This is against EC rules, but sometimes I hold him on it, just for a little bit, make the noise, sing a quick song and then let him off. He needs to understand that he has to sit still on it if only for a few moments. Well, in those moments this morning he peed. It was as though he was holding it and I gave him permission, or maybe reminded him to release it. He had been diaper-less on the changing table and he could have done it then, but no, he waited for me. So maybe that was the little bit of hope that I needed.

I'm thinking we need to invest in a bigger potty though. He seems to be getting to big for his "little potty" But I'm trying to hold out for a Baby's R Us mailer where they will give me a discount or something. I'm a rewards member and I'm hoping they'll send me something soon. :) Is there someplace cheaper I can get a potty? They are about 30 dollars at Baby's R US. I want a Baby Bjorn potty too, none of those Dora potties or Thomas ones, just a simple one that is easy to clean.

Anyways, those are my thoughts this morning. I hope y'all have a wonderful Wednesday.

count by numbers!

One tee tee on the potty last night
Two tired parents from middle of the night wake-ups
Three day weekend makes things fun
Four teeth are now appearing
Five poops on the potty this week!
We are still nursing about 5 or 6 times a day. Still cloth-diapering when rashes are not an issue, I'm thinking I need to order about 6 more since I'm laundering them about every day and a half...

These are the things that define my life :)

Levi had a bad day yesterday in general. Teething is killing him and he's getting about 3 or 4 at the same time, all on top, none of them fun.


Levi is starting to just get the hang of pushing when he gets on the potty. The "cue" seems to be less and less of a factor right now.

He's 10 months old, we'll see how well he's doing in a few months. Wouldn't it be amazing to say he's completely potty trained by a year?! Ha! Like that would happen, but I do fantasize about it sometimes :) Anyways, that's me. Anyone else having struggles or issues? Or victories?

Levi loves going on walks. Loves it, walks are the best part of the day as far as he's concerned. About 20 minutes before we leave he gets fussy and complainy and then as soon as I open the door to the garage where his stroller is he goes bananas. Sometimes just so I can go back through the house and make sure things are off and the laundry is started I will just set him in his stroller, buckle him in and park it so it's facing outside. He just sits there quietly in awe of the nature. He could seriously sit there for 30 minutes while I do yard work. Okay, and as we walk along he makes his own bumps in the road by bouncing up and down in the stroller. He grabs the tray and I think he secretly thinks he's driving me and he's in control. He watches all the birds and dogs and the cars go by. Occasionally he looks back at me and smiles this huge smile that says, "Isn't this the best thing in the world mom?!" I just consider him to be my personal trainer in getting me to exercise every day :) He's worth way more than those guys who yell at you in the gym and he's way more effective.

Well, yesterday Levi learned how to suck out of a straw. He would always watch me drink out of my hospital canister and then grab the straw from me and chew it. He knew he was missing something because then he would let me take it back and then quickly grab it out of my mouth again, water usually splattering everywhere. Yesterday he had it in his mouth and I watched the water go up the straw! His little eyes perked up and he started to choke. I took it out of his mouth but as soon as he had recovered he wanted it back. It took a couple of tries, but then he learned to drink without drowning himself. My little baby is growing up!! I'm gonna cry, partly from joy, partly that he's not a baby as much anymore.

Anyways, EC has been unsuccessful the past few days. I'm trying to figure out when he will want to go on the potty. So we are taking a step back for now. Not a step off, but just a step back.

Starting EC (again)

I feel like my day consists of managing bodily functions. Levi spit up on our bed today. He peed in his high chair, spit up on the kitchen floor, I've already dealt with two poopy diapers... This is my job as a mom, well, part of it. Motherhood is not glorious at times, but it is necessary.

Well, my sister in law asked what my book said about starting to EC a twelve-month-old and so it got me reading again. Reading the book always inspires ore diaper-free, elimination-awareness, time on the potty time... Although it sometimes creates more messes I'm always glad for these refreshers. With each stage Levi has gone through I have to make sure that we get back on the wagon of EC. I'm so thankful that we have been practicing. I'm thankful for all the rashes we have avoided, all the diapers we have saved and that I have not had to clean and just the fun it has been to see how he responds to us when we put him on the potty.

Okay, Marcie, the book makes no distinction of ages as much as stages. They talk about when your baby becomes mobile and then when your baby is a toddler. The main thing they emphasize is creating an awareness of elimination in your child. They recommend keeping your baby diaper free for periods of time so they can see what it feels like or looks like to eliminate outside of their diaper. Levi's pretty good about staying in the living room if I am in there, or in the kitchen so I just try to keep my eye on him while he's diaper free.

Okay, they say to allow your child to experience wetness. Maybe put them in training pants of a coverless cloth diaper so that you will know immediately when they have eliminated.

The next thing is learning associations. When they eliminate make your cuing noise for them when they eliminate so they can associate your cues with eliminating.

Finally, show them the proper place to potty. I've found the Baby Bjorn little potty has been the best thing. I actually think I'm going to buy another potty to keep in my living room/kitchen area and then one to keep in our guest bathroom/Levi's room. It seems whenever I leave to get him the potty or I transport him to the place where the potty is his little bladder can't hold it that well. Some might think that this is not showing him the proper room to potty in, but I think keeping the potty in a place where he can still be with Ben or me while he goes is a positive thing. Keep the association with the potty positive, sing songs, keep toys nearby. I've found with his little shirts that snap on the bottom that it's best to roll them up while he's on the toilet, this keeps them from falling into the potty.

So right now we are working on awareness, for both him and me. :) I'm looking for patterns of when he poops or pees. I made up a potty song for him... I need to post it, but I don't know how to post music on here.

Anyways, if you have any questions about it, feel free to ask! Also, the book I recommend is called "Diaper Free Baby" by Christine Gross-Loh. Check it out at the library, get it off of Amazon or you can buy it from the Diaper Free website!

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Levi is pulling up on things, crawling places and discovering. All this means that he is constantly hurting himself. I am either getting him out of trouble, trying to prevent an accident, or comforting him from his most recent fall or injury. Yesterday he discovered my bottom drawer in the kitchen and then slammed his little fingers in it twice. Yes, twice, babies take a little longer to learn certain things... now I just don't let him touch it. He's fallen face first off of our one step, falls as he's lowering himself down from the couch or coffee table, cries when he gets stuck under a chair or table and then cries when he loses sight of me. This makes for nice, restful times during his naps. ... I look forward to them in that I can get things done without having this little guy get into things and just that general stress of feeling like I need to keep an eye on him.

I realized today as I was praying with Ben that I get tired and frustrated pretty easily. It's easy to get overwhelmed with all of this and wish it away. But why in the world would I want to do that? I have this new tiny life in my care and he is amazing to watch and enjoy and delight in. I can look at this motherhood thing in one of two ways. My situation will not change regardless of my attitude. I can see him as a burden and a curse, stealing from my time, or I can see him as a delight and a joy, a blessing and be thankful for this time. Again, my situation will not change.

Cheerios are everywhere in my house right now, I even just saw some in the bathroom. They are like little landmines that when you step on them they explode into cheerio dust that must be swept or vacuumed up. How did they get to these random places? My theory is that Levi spills them down into the seat of his high chair, they get stuck to his diaper and then when I pick him up and take him somewhere they fall off randomly.

oh yeah, and Levi pooped on the potty this morning :)

Levi is hardcore teething right now. We couldn't figure out why he was so fussy, we tried just putting him in his room for a little bit, he'd had a good nap, he wasn't hungry... Then we were in the living room and he started chewing on the fireplace. Yes, like the brick fireplace, we could hear his little teeth scratching on it as he chewed. So we were like, oooooh, so that's it. He's teething. Now it's Baby Tylenol, some juice, part of a muffin (which I would have never let him eat earlier, but now it's comfort food for him... I'm totally starting that mess early:)) and we'll see what else we can do to make him more comfortable.

He's been pooping more often and hasn't had one in his potty in a few days. This means I get to clean up his cloth diapers... which means I've been spending a lot of time with the commode. It makes me think of when I have just thrown up and I'm looking at all this nasty debree in the toilet. Anyone who does cloth diapers ever feel that way? How do you keep from wanting to puke? I don't know.

The area around his high chair is a constant minefield of cheerios, green beans, whatever he can accidentally push onto the floor... I think it's an accident.

We are working on having him sleep through the night. This means that we let him cry it out when he decides to wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning. It's difficult right now because it would be easier to just nurse him for 15 mins instead of listening to him cry for 30 or 45 mins. Well, we don't necessarily listen to him cry, we just look at the monitor and see if the lights are flashing or not. I think he'll adjust though in just a few nights, that's my prediction because that's about how long it took last time we had to go through this. We'll see.

I'm learning to discipline him for his own good. It's strange because it feels not quite right, to let him cry or to spank him when he's grabbing an electrical cord. It doesn't FEEL right to have to do these things. But I don't think that discipline will always be a feel good thing, in fact, I'm pretty sure it will never feel good to discipline him. But I'm praying that God will give me a heart to do what is best for my children, whatever that may be.

... a poop story :)

Okay, so I'm sitting here and reading my Diaper Free Baby book (which I haven't picked up in months I might add) and I thought, I need to post. I need to post because I have a poop story from this morning. From this morning before I left for church, everything was going to be perfect... and then it wasn't.

Well, I was going to play on the worship team this morning so I would have to leave our house at about 7:15. Levi needed to nap from 8:30 to 10:30 or something like that. He had woken up to nurse at 3 (not cool) and then I got up at 6, determined that he would be up by 6:30 so he would go down for a nap. So, I woke him up, nursed him and then decided to try and potty him. I made up a song to sing about tee teeing on the potty and good morning and all that, I try to take him to his potty in the morning just so see if he will get a poopy out or something. About half the time he goes. Well, this morning he went! I was so excited! Now Ben wouldn't have to change a poopy diaper and everything would be perfect! (I wanted this morning's "guy time" without mom to be enjoyable for both of them) I thought to myself "hm, I wonder if Levi's really done pooping, it didn't take that long and he didn't go yesterday, so what if he's not finished." Of course I didn't follow my thought, I just looked at how much he went and assumed he was done. So I gave him is hard-earned diaper free time while I washed out his potty, then after cleaning it and wiping it dry I pranced into our room to announce to Ben that Levi went poo poo on the potty. When I came out into the living room ... let's just say it was mortifying. Levi had finished his poop and was now playing in it. Oh my goodness! So I grabbed him, stuck him in the bathtub and Ben went for the carpet cleaner. Poor Ben! He rolled out of bed and the FIRST thing he had to do was clean up poop out of the carpet. Let's just say I have a wonderful husband.

So that's my poop EC story. Needless to say, Levi has pooped two more times today (apparently he had a lot in there) I'm hoping he doesn't have what his cousin had and start pooping five times a day... not cool. We'll see.

Have a great day with your potties!

Levi went pee pee on the potty this morning. :) Just thought I would share that. I try to put him on it at least once a day, preferably when he first wakes up from a nap, that's usually when he needs to empty his bladder. I have caught a few poops in the past few weeks, it's usually about one or two a week.

So EC has become something that we just do. It's not like I tell everyone I know that I'm potty training my 8-month-old, not everyone wants to hear it, and I guess a lot of people already kind of know. My goal with EC is not necessarily to have Levi "potty trained" by a certain age, I think more than anything my goal is just to learn to be in tune with what is going on in his little body. To really be aware of his needs whether it's a need to be fed, snuggled, put to bed, changed or put on the potty. Needless to say I am nowhere perfect in these areas. I feel as though I have been challenged in this aspect of my relationship with him... It's like it's another guess. I'm wanting him to be aware of his needs as well, that he would know that tee tee goes in the toilet, "poop does not feel good in your diaper, so signal to mommy that you need to go." I talk to him about these things and I figure one day he will understand, hopefully sooner than I think. :)

Days are full of interruptions, this post was interrupted as well, but I'm okay with that. Kids are kids and it's time for me to die to myself. It's not easy FOR SURE, but it's good. I'm trying to ready myself for interruptions for the rest of my life now, Lord, make me and mold me.

trusting God

Life is still in crazy-mode as we came back from vacation. This past weekend we had all of my immediate family in town. It was so good to see them and they were all really excited to see Levi. As the first grandchild on my side he gets most of the attention (when he's awake and with us). Watching my younger brother, he's 23, play with Levi was a highlight. He is so good with Levi, even holding him and keeping him entertained when Levi was fussy and we were all playing a game. I know that he will make an awesome dad someday.

Today I was reminded about how much children are a blessing. The Lord is the One who opens and closes the womb. He is our provider in that way. I don't know, just in general that sense came over me and I need to count myself fortunate to be able to bear children. Yes, children are a hassle and they make things a little more complicated, but they are huge blessings and should not be taken for granted.

Another personal note: I have lost a total of 45 pounds since Levi was born. I am now officially below my pre-pregnancy weight. It only took 8 months, many midnight hours, a few skipped desserts, some semi-regular walking, a lot of patience, a lot of feedings, postponing solids, some pumping, some oatmeal, in general trying to stay active, a couple of health-streaks and then just normal living in between. It's funny because I thought I would have to reach this weight or something below it in order to be "acceptable" but it turns out that I was acceptable as I was and the weight just came off in other ways instead.

Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I wish I knew all along that I was accepted and I needed to trust God before I got into all this other stuff.

I think Levi's finally dropping his third nap! Eight months old and down to just two naps... am I getting my life back? I don't know. He's also starting to sleep through the night WAY better. When we were on vaca he thought it was a great idea to wake up about every two or three hours, no fun buddy! But the night we got home he slept for 11 hours straight! I was worried that he was okay when I got up. He must've gotten worn out from all those midnight arousals :) My little man is a home-body. He was so excited when we got home he was just crawling around and laughing and waving his arms, ecstatic that we were back in our own house! Haha!

The funny thing is that he almost seems to do better on the road. We have more poops in the potty at least, so I don't know. He pooped on my mom's adult toilet the other day when we stopped by and then pooped on the potty other times on vacation. But he's gone in his diaper at least once since we've been home. He's had some pees on his little potty, that's usually best because of the splash guard. It's so nice now that he can sit up on it on his own. I usually just hold his hands so he doesn't stick them down there while he's tee-tee-ing. TMI? I know, but that's why you read this blog, so that you can know all there is to know about my infant potty training experience.

I've been keeping a log of my daily activities. This is part of a homemaking Bible study I'm doing. It's really interesting to see what all I do all day. I think something about being accountable to a notebook has kept me up in my household duties. I'm looking at incorporating a daily planning system into my life with a good old-fashioned paper planner. :) Computers and I don't always see eye to eye and my phone isn't that tech savvy ... we'll see. I'll let you know how that all works out for me!

So we are ECing on the road this week. We are in sunny Florida visiting a good, long-time friend of mine. She is on the road to having a baby around Levi's birthday, so they will be a year apart :) I'm totally excited about this and as I hear her different aches/pains and joys/excitement, I can totally relate. She talks about being hungry and I am reminded that I had this phrase: the beast within is growling! Ben said I shouldn't call our sweet little baby a beast and I told him that he could call it whatever he wanted I just needed some food! Especially Cheez-Its. :)

So we have been playing in the sand and the ocean. I've been trying to be careful about him not getting saltwater splashed in his face so he wouldn't hate it. He seems to absolutely LOVE the sand. When I sat him down in it he looked at it for a minute and then put his hands right in it and held it up to examine it. After doing this a few times he decided it was time for a taste-test. Um, no. I took his hand away from his mouth and said no. A few minutes later he tried it again so I thought, well, maybe if he tastes it he will see how bad it tastes and then not put it in again. Wrong! He loved the way it tasted and the way it chewed. Another mom was there and told me it wouldn't hurt him as long as he only ate a little bit.

After a while he got tired so I was able to just hold him in the shade of the umbrella in a towel and he slept amazingly. It was so peaceful with the breeze and the sound of the waves and in the shade it was the perfect temperature. Best of all, Levi was fast asleep in my arms. Yes, he was covered with sand, but he was sleeping perfectly. It was so peaceful and beautiful. I wish I had a picture I could post of it but I forgot my camera. Sad day.

Well, since we got here Levi has both pooped and peed in Leah's toilet 3 times. He only pooped in his diaper once or twice I think. I was truly amazed at this. He hasn't pooped at home on a toilet in a while and here he decides that he wants to do it. I would think that being on the road would have thrown him off, but it seems he is doing just the opposite.

He has also just been a really good baby in general. He is so good-natured with other people and just loves the social interaction. He was amazing on the plane. He nursed or sucked on a bottle all the way up, slept in the air and then nursed all the way down on both our flights. He pooped in his diaper during our layover. Right before we were supposed to board actually so I just threw all politeness out the window and changed him in the corner of the terminal area. I didn't want to waste my time with going to the bathroom. Glad I didn't have to change him on the plane :) That would have been rough!

Okay, so that's my EC experience. Levi is 8 months as of a few days ago. I'm so thankful for such a sweet little baby.

New post here! You all thought I had quit hadn't you? I decided I would do this blog so that I would have some good accountability and motivation to keep going even through the rough times of EC.

I seriously did think that Levi had no idea what was going on for a while there but then Sunday proved me wrong. We were traveling in the car all day long and in the middle stopped at my brother and sister-in-law's house in Fayetteville. I was nursing him in the back room and knew I needed to change him. I thought, why not? Why not just try to potty him? All I've got to lose is a few moments of walking over there and holding him over the potty. Well, his first full solid poop was on their toilet. I told them they should be proud! Haha! I don't even know what my family really thinks! They smile and laugh so I guess it's okay. For sure it kept him from pooping in his diaper in the car when it would really stink and be so uncomfortable for him. What's more is that when we finally got home that night he pooped on the potty again! I was amazed. So my EC energy is back and I'm working hard on him.

My newest problem is his strength. He likes to stiffen up like a board and refuse to bend his knees when I am trying to put him on the potty. This morning he absolutely refused to I gave in, thinking that he didn't need to go. A few seconds after I did so a little fountain came right out on my leg! I was so mad! What a little goober... I didn't get too mad at him I just told him that was inappropriate and went ahead and made his little sound, but I think he could tell I wasn't happy about WHERE he had peed. I try to be clear in my body language toward him in these times. When talking to kids I always try to communicate like they can understand but then give them the benefit of the doubt if they didn't fully seem to grasp something. I will often talk to children like they are adults using the same vocabulary and articulation. I do talk baby talk with Levi and babies just to be sweet though. But if I am going to communicate about something I want to always be clear, I want to challenge them in their understanding.

Okay, so that's my communication philosophy :) And this concludes this post of my EC experience. Hope you all enjoyed sharing my adventures.

I remember watching my mom rinse out my little sister's cloth diaper in the toilet and thinking that she was crazy. Now I'm crazy and rinsing poopy diapers in toilets...

Levi is scooting across the room now. It's not crawling because he hasn't gotten his little belly up off the ground yet, but he's for sure doing a modified army crawl to get from point A to point B, he's obviously not concerned with form. :)

Levi LOVES his bouncy chair. It has changed my life as well. Today I was making dinner and thought, "what am I going to do with him?" And the Johnny jumper was perfect! It's great exercise for him and it's so entertaining for him AND me! He is great entertainment between his scooting and jumping, I could watch him and play with him all day.

Okay, so this is an EC blog right? That means I have to put something on here about potties and such.
Yesterday I caught another poop... sort of. He was on the floor and I was watching him and I just knew he was pooping. So I made his little cue and he just looked at me. I thought, "well, maybe I can get his diaper off and get him on his potty." So I took it off and he had gone just a little bit. He was kind of upset about pooping, (which makes me think he's a bit constipated) but he went the rest of the way on the potty. For some reason I find solid poops grosser than newborn breastfed poops, I don't know. So later that day I fed him to peach juice and he pooped again that day. I don't know what his deal is.

I'm feeding him more solids but trying to keep my milk supply up by nursing him often and pumping when I skip a feeding, I'm hoping to be able to keep it up for a year... only five more months until then. :)

I keep meaning to blog and thinking about it and then I get distracted or my computer refuses to work, or Levi cries or... So I'm gonna just do it.

I have to be honest once again, Levi has not been pooping on the potty the way I would like him to, but then again, he hasn't been pooping with any regularity at all what so ever. My sister in law said she started giving her daughter 4 oz of watered down apple juice ever afternoon and she has been pooping with rockstar regularity. :) I made up the rockstar part, she didn't actually say that, but she hasn't had any problems with constipation. So I have been giving Levi some diluted apple juice (half water) when I remember to. The only problem is that I get busy or forget, or get impatient, or he has just nursed so he has no interest in it. But the other day we were going to a baseball game and we needed to leave as soon as he woke up from his nap, so I threw some apple juice and water in a bottle (probably more like 6 or 7 oz... whoops) and sat in the back and gave it to him. He drank it all up in the 20 mins it took. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot I had this feeling that he was just going to unload in his diaper, and of course, he gets this looks and just goes! Luckily I was able to make his little noise. Then I had to change him on the backseat of the Camry, which is slightly tilted so he kept sliding to the side and his head was rubbing funny on the carseat... Anyways, that was the last time he pooped. It's always runny poop too, so I don't think it's constipation. I don't know what it is. It's for sure stinkier and bigger than it was when he was exclusively breast fed.

The other bad thing about this pooping less often thing is that I have a tendency to change him less. When I know he's not sitting in a poopy diaper I tend to think, "oh well, his diaper is almost always wet anyways, he'll be fine." And then I end up forgetting and then he ends up with eczema. Not cool.

Oh yeah, here's something I have decided, for all you new moms out there... Pampers makes the best wipes. Don't get Huggies, don't get the cheapo store brand, they are for sure not worth it. You will use fewer Pampers, even though they are like 4 cents a wipe as opposed to 3.5 cents for a Huggies, they are just better. So, there you go, sometimes I have to learn the hard way just to pay more for something that you will actually use as opposed to something that is cheapo and you don't want to use.

I'm wanting to start making my own laundry detergent. And I want to get back into making my own wipes... only I want to do it right this time.

I hope you all have a wonderful time with your kids in these coming summer days. Stay cool!

I have found that as soon as I think that I'm really good at something, as soon as I'm on top of my game, as soon as I think I have something "in the bag" that God decides He needs to humble me. Conversely, I am beginning to think that as soon as I am about to give up hope, success happens upon me. This has especially been my experience with EC. I will explain after I give you a list of what has been going on lately.

-Went to the Dr and she prescribed some amazing steroid cream for Levi's ongoing stubborn rash. It was completely cleared up by the next day. Why did I not do this sooner??

-Caught two pees in the past two days.

-Went to a baby shower, gave her a toilet. Of course I did. She registered for it though, so you can't really blame me :)

-Picked up my Diaper Free Baby book to read again. We have been getting off track and it's time to get back on.

-Worked in the church nursery yesterday, but it was with the crawlers so Levi was next door. I knew he was in good hands, so I was okay with that. I'm excited for when he will start to crawl.

Okay, so here is my story of my blessing... haha! Just as a warning, if you don't like poop stories I would encourage you to stop reading now. However, just by the fact that you are reading this blog, that probably isn't the case :) I know, what an intro right?
Well, Levi has been pooping two to three times a week since Memorial day. He pooped last Sunday, then Wednesday and then pooped again yesterday. I have been introducing solids, but not super-regularly, maybe every other day, maybe twice a day. It's kind of erratic. I pump when I feed him solids so my supply doesn't go down. I just have one kid, I have time for this type of thing. Anyways, he had peas and cheerios on Saturday morning. Cheerios are amazing because he just sits there in his chair and tries to pick them up and when he gets frustrated I just put one in his mouth and he gums it and swallows. This keeps him occupied while I do things like make Ben's lunch or clean the kitchen, and sort of even feeds him at the same time! Amazing!
Sorry, I will get to the story.
This morning I wanted to give him more diaper free time. So I nursed him without his diaper on, just held a prefold under him, then tried to potty him and he didn't do anything. So I brought him out to the living room while Ben and I read our Bibles. He was on his belly, still without a diaper. We happened to be looking at him and all of the sudden Ben was like, "Jody, he's pooping." And then I saw it. Luckily, it was solid and just starting to poke out. (TMI, I know) I wasn't sure what to do since I didn't have a prefold there or anything, I just stuck his cloth diaper under him and ran for his toilet back in his room. I was worried that if I picked him up during it he would freak out. He did cry and seem upset as I put him on his toilet but we sang a song and cued him and let him chew on his toy and he pushed the rest of it out! Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm talking about this... But I was so excited!! It was my first solid poop I had ever caught, sort of caught... I mean, at least it didn't get on the carpet.

Yeah, so that was my little "blessing" today :) haha! I'm hoping this will continue. Just trying to stay humble.

stay at home mommy-ing

Okay, so here's my confession: Levi hasn't pooped in his potty since I don't know when. Maybe since Memorial Day. He hasn't pooped much in general, but each time it was a total surprise and I didn't have time to put him on his potty or he had just woken up from a nap and didn't tell me, etc. He hasn't had many pees either. That I can remember, I think I've caught maybe one or two in the past two days.
I was thinking about this as I was changing him today, thinking, well, I'm gonna have to tell everyone that I haven't been doing very well. But the real truth is that he has been sick, which always throws everything off, and he still has eczema on pretty bad. It's red and bumpy from about his belly button all the way down to his hips. He tries to scratch it and tends to be pretty fussy when it flairs up. Since his blood test showed up negative for allergies I didn't know what to do. So today I thought, "Why have I not been detective and determined about this thing to figure out why he still has this rash?" I guess I just thought it would eventually go away. He's not allergic to anything, therefore, he'll be fine. Levi is not fine. He doesn't look fine, life is no fun right now because of this stupid, itchy rash. So I called the Dr.'s office and talked to a nurse and I described the situation and she said we just needed to come in. So we are going to the Dr. tomorrow morning. I'm praying we get things figured out.

On another note, just a note about motherhood and this new place in life that I have found myself in. How often I compare myself to others. How often I question my abilities, I question my mothering especially... so many times I feel like I am just frittering my day away, it's just minutes ticking by and I don't like the silence so I listen to podcasts or watch a few webisodes (I love watching the Duggars, so inspirational for being a good mommy) ... but then I come to the end of the day and realize I haven't had any real conversations with anyone. I realize I have been listening to people talk all day. I have been checking my face book or my blog or my email to see if I can have contact with the outside world. Maybe someone would text me or call me. Sometimes I feel like I'm desperate for human contact and then other times I want to avoid it because I am tired and don't want to have to actually formulate words and conversation. I know that sounds weird.

I'm beginning to think that isolation is a definite struggle for the stay at home mom. How do we keep ourselves from being isolated? Especially when our little one takes two to three naps a day and we want them to be good, solid naps so they won't be fussy and cranky? I want to have meaningful relationships, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard or I want it too badly.

I wish I lived in community better.

I always get motivated to post when I read other people's blogs. I love reading about their real lives and the encouragement of what they are doing.

I think in my life I have often struggled with thinking negatively. No, I'm not talking about the "positive thinking" about yourself that Oprah talks about. I think it's more of a selfish negativity. Things don't work out the way I want them to work out, they didn't go my way, Levi didn't take a nap when it was convenient for me, I am tired of fixing dinner and doing the laundry... This kind of negative thinking has a tendency to permeate my being and turn me sour. I think this kind of thinking is also culturally acceptable. "Think positively about yourself, love yourself, blah blah blah..." When really we should be loving others and serving others, this is what we are called to do.

I'm learning to serve my son. Learning to serve my husband, and honestly, it's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done.

EC has been put on the back burner with Levi's cold. Also, he has gone from pooping 5 times a day to once every other day. Right now I'm just waiting for him to have a blow-out and it to get everywhere. That's what happened on Sunday at least, and now it's Tuesday and he still hasn't pooped. I know y'all really wanted to know that.
Also, his allergy-induced rash hasn't gone away. The Dr said he wasn't allergic to anything, then what is he reacting to?? I've been putting him in different diapers, we have different wipes, what is the deal?!

Happy Tuesday to all of you!

Thoughts about babies ... especially my sweet baby

I am so blessed to have the sweet little boy that I have. I thought that when he was first born that he would be this high-strung child and I would have a long trek ahead of me. I was so prepared for dealing with lots of crying and difficult times, but I was soon mistaken. It's as though he's gotten better each month. He's more relaxed, better able to play by himself (I am a HUGE believer in teaching your child to play by themselves quietly.) He's better at signaling when he wants to eat and sometimes I can figure out when he wants to poop or pee, though this is a bit more difficult. I'm sure we will continue to learn on that one.

Sometimes I wonder if it was because I had to have a breech c-section (yes, I'm gonna go for a VBAC) and getting pulled out of the womb by his thighs made him more high-strung. Maybe it was the fact that he was born in the winter and Ben and I don't like spending a lot of money on heat, maybe it was our latch issues or the fact that he was two weeks early... I don't know. Whatever it is, I have found that he is so focused and is easy-going and not high-strung at all. I am so thankful for this wonderful little boy.

I have been reading and hearing a lot lately that Doctors do not recommend exposing your child to a television screen for the first two years of their life. Apparently it causes the fast brain to work and can actually hurt them developmentally as far as their attention skills verbal skills. I was listening to this NPR show that was talking about how Baby Einstein is a hoax and they were talking about it. I'm thankful that we don't have a TV and so we don't have to worry about it, but sometimes I have to watch when we go to someone else's house and we want to watch a movie or something like that. I can just feel like it would be so HARD not to allow that for your child. I have to watch that if I'm going to watch a show off the internet on my computer that it's during Levi's nap time or that he is in a position where he won't see the screen. Whew, this makes me so tired to think about.

What do y'all think? Has anyone else heard this or have any thoughts about it?

Thank y'all for reading!

Update

Well, I'm sitting on the floor with my precious Levi and I just thought I would update to let everyone know how things are going with us. I keep thinking of things throughout the day to write about, but it seems like I can never quite get to my computer or navigate to this page. ... That's my problem, it's nothing wrong with my computer or internet just so y'all know.

I've been keeping up with EC'ing and other mommy things with a few of my dear friends through facebook messaging and it has been so wonderful. I just want to encourage any of y'all who are not connected with other mommies, get connected. Do it. If you have to join a mops group or go to a La Lech League meeting or join a cheesy mom group at church, it will benefit so much. I often feel chained to my house with as much as Levi naps and how I don't want him to get overtired and not get a good nap, so this makes my phone AMAZING. This makes the internet amazing as well, as long as I use it for the right reasons, to stay connected with others and encourage others. I find myself often using the internet to just piddle around and get depressed about my life. I want to be intentional about this tool, and not just use it half-thinking, half not. I don't know if that makes sense.

Okay, so I'm sure y'all on are on the edge of your seats with my latest poop story. First, the follow-up from the doctor: Levi is allergic to NOTHING. According to the blood tests he's not even allergic to cats and dogs, not milk, not peanuts, not chocolate, ... I'm thinking it might be his Pampers since he had it really badly when we took him to church and again when we took him to the doctor. So, no more Pampers. The Luv's haven't had a negative effect on him and he wore them all weekend, so I think that's what we will go with from now on.

I gave Levi pureed peas yesterday. This morning I found it in his diaper looking just like it did when it came in. ... There you go. I'm not sure how this solid poop thing is going to work with EC'ing. I hope I can have some sort of premonition of when he's about to go.

One good thing that happened this week: on Monday we were returning home from St Louis and it was about 7 hours in the car. Levi was so good during the whole thing and only had a few crying spells. He hardly pooped all day and I offered him a toilet once at Wendy's. As soon as we got him home I took his diaper off and put him on the potty. He pooped so much! It was amazing. I'm guessing he didn't want to sit in it :)

Okay, so there's my update!

Doctor Visit

Well, we went to the doctor today for Levi's six month appointment. I had noticed yesterday that Levi had a little bit of blood in his stool, it was especially noticeable because he pooped in his potty. I told the doctor about it and then he took one look at what I thought was a diaper rash and he said, "That's an allergic reaction. He's allergic to something." The problem would be trying to figure out what it was. I could slowly try to cut things out of my diet and figure it out that way or we could have a simple blood test done and be able to detect the problem a lot quicker... if that is even the problem. It could be his diaper, it could be some sort of strep on his bottom... blah!!!

So I opted for the blood test just to make things simpler. We had already waited almost an hour in the waiting room. I am not blaming anyone, because I know that doctors are busy and sometimes they get behind, but it stinks nonetheless. So we started out the appointment already completely worn out. Then we got the awesome news about his allergy, then we got our vaccinations (yes, I do vaccinate Levi, I was vaccinated and so was Ben and we are fine and I believe the autism being related is ridiculous and would rather that he didn't die from common childhood ailments)

Then we finally went to get blood drawn after having shots in both legs. It is a traumatic time and as a mom I just have to keep reminding myself that it is for his own good. Levi really is amazing though. He was past his nap time and we were in the laboratory and I had to lay him on the table while the lady swabbed his little bottom. Then she had to feel for a vein to take the blood from his chubby little baby arm. As she ran her finger up and down it he began to laugh. It was so sweet, his laugh is so pure and so beautiful, there is just nothing like it. He would laugh and then start to cry a little and then laugh. It was like he was on the verge of hysteria. ... let me just say that he was pushed over the verge as they poked him. It was like he knew what was coming too, I don't know if it was because I was leaning over him or what, but he knew.

Again, he is so amazing. Throughout the rest of the time at the doctors it was just little whimpers and when we got home he nursed and went right to bed. I am so blessed to have such a sweet little boy. As I think of his precious little face right now tears are coming to my eyes. I love him so much!

Okay, so it's been a while. I've been busy and distracted... and kind of lazy. But really, why make excuses?

Levi has been doing great with EC! I am totally amazed at times that he has chosen to hold his elimination (moreso poops than pees) for the toilet. We EC both into his little potty but then I also hold him over the big toilet. Mainly because I am lazy and I just want to be able to flush it instead of dump out his potty and then rinse it. See, I'm lazy :) I think the next step is when he is able to sit up on his own I will purchase a toilet insert so he can sit on the big toilet without me having to strattle it and hold him there.

I have decided he's going to start getting solids on a regular basis. Every morning and every afternoon/evening-ish I am going to start giving him a little bit of oatmeal. I have heard so many viewpoints about what to introduce first to Levi that I have decided to go with what my doctor recommends (especially since we are about to go to his 6 month appointment!) Cereal. It's easy and I think it will be safe. I gave him a few egg yolks but I wasn't sure about the iron content of them, and I keep reading all this stuff about iron, so I am giving him the baby iron-fortified cereal. Maybe this introduction to solids will help him sleep through the night a little better. We will see.

It's been sporadic as far as sleeping through the night goes. Last night we woke up at 11. I had been asleep for probably about an hour so I was so disoriented that all I could do was stumble in and nurse him, no clear thoughts, no nothing. Then he woke up again at 4, so I fed him again and he went back to sleep until about 7:30. I have decided that I am going to stop EC-ing him in the middle of the night. This might get him used to pooping in the middle of the night and I am tired of EC-ing at this time. It wakes me up too much. If it is just nursing I fall asleep a lot easier than if I'm up and have to think etc...

As far as his naps go, it's hard to keep him awake for more than 2 hours, unless there is a lot of stimulation. He gets so fussy after about an hour and a half that I just have to lay him down again. He sleeps for another hour to two hours and then we go through the same cycle. I've been reading this book called "The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight" thanks to my friend Alicia and I think that I need to get him on a little more of a schedule. I so often throw out any kind of schedule that I go the other way and I think we are starting to need a little more consistency.

I am also trying to introduce or get him attached to a "Lovey" a little giraffe blanket stuffed-animal toy that he can take to bed with him. I put it in his free arm while we nurse and then lay him down with it for naps and bedtime. I have to sit and watch him though or else he will totally cover his face with it and then be frustrated because he can't breathe! Oh my, all the things to think about with a little one.

There's my update! Hope you enjoy!

Well, EC has been going really well these past few days. I have to watch out when I say that because I know that it's going to come back and haunt me as soon as I get comfortable. Levi will all of the sudden forget what the cue means and not know what a potty is for.

Did I already write about how much I love my BumGenius? They are adorable and very absorbent. Usually I can leave Levi in one the whole night, only having to change him around 4:30 or 5 during his second feeding. Today he didn't get up the second time until 6, so that was nice. I usually EC him about that time. He's been getting good about holding it until I put him over a potty or a sink. Then I cue him and he goes. I showed my mom and sister yesterday how to hold him over a big toilet, when mom saw he was peeing she was like, "Wow! He's doing it!" It was funny to see them get excited about it.

I was thinking about it yesterday and I really need to start having other moms over to my house to talk about being a mommy. I go to these La Leche meetings and I think, "wouldn't it be cool to just get together and talk about EC-ing and the Lord, and what it means to be a mommy day in and day out?" I am finding that being a stay at home mom is a fading trend. Working outside the home is completely normal, even with a small baby. Why is that? Why do I often feel so alone in this? Why do I feel so isolated at times? My saving grace has been facebook messaging, phone and email. These have been welcome outlets for my desire for a human connection. I have to watch out that TV shows do not become my social interaction. I have a tendency to just desire talking and noise, but I don't know if that is always healthy.

I have decided that today I am going to finish painting Levi's room. Or at least I'm going to work on finishing it. It's often a lot of work to paint on the walls. And then to find the time to do it can be difficult! I think I will try to get him to nap in another room today so I can just go in and attack the walls! I will post pictures later.

Thank you all for reading! Until next time...

Practicing

Happy Mother's Day to all of you fine mamas out there! This really feels like the first Mother's Day to me that has special meaning. Last year I was pregnant at this time so Ben bought me some maternity clothes for my Mother's day present. He's so sweet! I haven't gotten anything from him this year, but I'm not a big presents or gifts person, so I think I'm really okay with it. :)

Okay, so I was just wanting to post about this thought that has been bouncing around in my head these past few days. Practicing. I am practicing EC. That is the correct terminology, not necessarily accomplishing EC or dominating EC :), but it's a practice. We go through set-backs, we have times when it is more often and times when we are not able to because of circumstances. Sometimes I get tired of taking is potty with us, so I just choose not to. But all of this is just a gentle practice. We are not expecting perfection from our children, just like we aren't expecting them to walk as soon as they come out of the womb. We are simply guiding them, doing what we feel is best and healthiest for them. Some days Levi is a perfect baby, then a few days will go by and I have no idea why he is crying so much.

Anyways, I have come to believe that EC-ing is just a daily process. We take it one step at a time. We don't allow the Enemy to call us failures. We love on our little ones and do what we feel is best for them.

It's important on those days when it is difficult to really remember why I decided to EC. So I will go ahead and list my reasons for you:
1. Cuts down on diaper rash, keeps Levi from having to sit in his own poop most of the time
2. Is a more natural transition to potty training
3. Is better for the environment than even cloth diapers, even the detergent we use can be harmful
4. I don't want to have to wash so many diapers
5. Cuts down on the amount of leaks, more in the toilet, less in the diaper
6. I want to learn and be in tune with my child for all of his basic needs. Not obsessively so, but just to keep those lines of communication open.

If you EC, do you have any more to add to this list? Would love to hear your comments.

Yes! I found a few outfits and some pants he can wear. We are still doing pants even when it's warm... it's not really that hot out yet and they are just little cotton pants so I don't have to wrap him up when he goes to sleep.

Yesterday and today have been rough in our little baby world. I am not sure if Levi has allergies or if he's just teething or just plain upset about nothing. (I really doubt it's that last one, but sometimes it just feels that way.) His eyes have been watering really bad and he's been sneezing a lot. I am fearful that he got Ben's allergy genes which we were desperately hoping he would get away from. But do kids start to display allergies this early? I am going to call the Dr's office today and ask about it. Blah!! Or he could be teething some more and just be in a lot of pain. All he wants to do is nurse and chew like crazy. I have to post a video of him with a pacifier. He doesn't know how to use one so he just sort of grabbed it and started chewing on it any which way. It was awesome.
Anyways, the teething thing could be the case because he has been feeling particularly warm. I haven't taken his temperature or anything because I DO NOT want to put it... yeah, I will not say wear here on the internet, but moms, you know. ... So I have just been feeling his head and it feels a bit warm. No fun.

Oh yeah, I have now decided I am going to purchase some BumGenious 3.0 diapers! They worked great and held him all night two nights ago. It was amazing! They seemed to stay on better and not slide down as much, even though he didn't have a onesie on. It just felt a lot more secure than the FuzziBunz and was a lot softer than the Diaperaps. So now I know. I think Marcie had told me to get the BumGenious in the first place so I should have listened to her :) It will be well worth it. I am thinking about getting about 6 or 7 of them. ... or maybe more like 10. I am planning on washing them about every other day and somewhat in conjunction still with the FuzziBunz (I will get my money's worth out of them!!) So I don't know that I will need that many.

Does anyone have any recommendations on what sites to order them from? I need to go talk to my neighbor, she's big on cloth diapering (I just met her for the first time last week) and knew about all these websites and things. It's just hard sometimes to know when to come visit. Okay, yeah, so recommend all you want :)

EC is back to normal. It was really funny yesterday because I was nursing Levi without a diaper, Ben was sitting there with me, reading a book. At the end of the nursing session Levi was getting all squirmy and I felt like he needed to go but he was holding it (for my sake :)) so I put him on his potty and cued him. He went immediately. Ben looked at me with raised eyebrows and a smile on his face. I felt like I was the most awesome mom alive! Haha!

This morning I was garage-sale-ing for some clothes for Levi. I am sick of snaps. I am dying a slow death of snapping baby clothes together. Who the heck came up with these stupid snaps? Whew, sorry about that rant, something just came over me. So I was looking for shirts and pants that are separate and have fewer snaps. Not the ones that snap under the crotch. I was rummaging through some boxes and this lady who I don't know felt that she should suggest some of the "cute outfits" that were there. So I explained, well, I'm potty training him, so I don't want the snappy things. "Oh, well, you're potty training? The bigger clothes are over there!" "No, thank you, he is five months." I'm sure you are picturing a reaction of shock on her face as I explained. Another mom overheard me and thought it sounded a little strange but she could see my reasons. Her son was almost three and she was struggling with it. "I just hope he's potty trained by the time he's ten." ... a gross exaggeration I'm sure, but still, it made me realize how fortunate I am to have already begun this process with Levi.

Lord, help me not to be prideful, but compassionate. I know that You will always humble me in this area that I really don't have any control over. I pray that I would parent him to the best of my abilities. Speak to my heart about his needs Lord.

Levi is now rolling over. Our life is changing.

He started rolling over repeatedly today. I was cheering at first, now I am getting frustrated. Especially in regards to putting him to bed. He rolls over onto his stomach and doesn't know that he can just look to the side and not have to have his face in the mattress. He doesn't know that he can just push off and right himself once more. Ben had the great idea tonight to put him next to the crib wall where he can't roll over to his side... it's working so far, but he is still crying himself to sleep.

Yes, I do let my child cry himself to sleep, it's hard but it helps me stay sane.

Today we had more than half our poops on the potty! This was SOOOOOO exciting for me! Since last week was full of "failures" or what seemed like failures I felt like I was in heaven with my sweet boy going almost every time I cued him. He didn't pee on me once and held it until I could put him on his potty. It was truly a blissful EC day.

So yes, there is life after a potty pause :) It all came back and I am so thankful. Now if only he would sleep longer than 3-4 hours... it's killing me right now. Ben got up and took care of him at 4:45 after I had nursed him at 11:30 and then again at ... I don't remember, maybe 2 or 3... I don't understand.

Well, EC has been going a lot better. There are peaks and valleys with everything I think. I also think we are finally taking care of this diaper rash that's been hanging on for dear life. :)

Levi's had several poops in the potty, though they are not particularly substantial. He used to poop a lot more. Maybe that's because he is not in his growth spurt right now and isn't consuming quite as much. Life is much calmer when there is no growth spurt and Levi isn't constantly wanting to nurse me dry.

The diapers are getting better now that more poops are going in the potty, but I am still looking around for something I can use part time as he gets bigger. Not that he's bursting out of his FuzziBunz but his diaperaps are coming undone more and more often. Yes Lindsay, snaps do sound better.

I was also totally pumped that it made it up to 77 in our house. This makes the diaper free time much less stressful, I don't have to worry about him getting cold. I am probably more worried about him getting chilled than I am even if he pees on the carpet. There's my priorities folks.

I ordered a one side bumgenious today. Just one off of amazon. I hope it's not pink. I didn't really understand the process and I made it up to the checkout like 3 times each time thinking the price was way too much. Turns out they were trying to sell me 2 and then 3 of them... I don't know how that worked. By the end of it I was just hoping I would just order one. That's my advanced technical knowledge.

I started writing a song yesterday about Levi. The doctor said that I should write while I can because my feelings towards him will change as he grows. (He also probably knows that I will be way busier once Levi starts becoming mobile.) The song is basically about me feeling completely inadequate for this incredible task of parenting and the joy of watching a miracle like him right before my eyes.

We tried rice cereal these past two nights. Levi was not having any of it. I think for now I'm okay with that. We will revisit it again in a little while. :)

I'm sick of diapers!

Okay, so I am getting very fed up with my cloth diapers. I am so ready for just training pants or something, but we are not to that level yet. I will take pride in the fact that I have lasted this long. I heard of one mom only doing them for about a month and then quitting... So the bright side is that I've saved on about 4-5 months of diapers, some weeks more than others :)

The problems I am having though: FuzziBunz. They are soft and they wick away moisture and they are all in one with snaps and everything. The downside is that they don't hold much. And by much I mean more than an hour it seems. He overflows them all the time and I don't even leave him in them for that long. The other MAJOR downside is that they start to stink really badly. For some reason I can't get rid of the smell. I wash them with minimal detergent, I wash them in a soak cycle, I squeeze them outbefore I put them in the dryer... I am just really tired of them. Is there a good cloth diaper out there that won't stink and provides good leak protection?

My other ones are prefolds from Diaperaps. I like how the prefolds remain clean and the simplicity of just putting the diaper in the cover. I also feel it is important for Levi to feel the moisture after he pees, especially in the daytime. The prefolds are also great to put under him during his diaper free time. The only problem with them is the Velcro keeps rubbing up against his skin and making it red and irritated where it is attached. This is no fun for me or him.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I love being able to take care of Levi. Sometimes I don't love it, but overall, it's pretty amazing.

Watching him grow and change feels like such a forever long process. I know it won't seem that way looking back, but I don't know that I can change those feelings right now.

ECing has been difficult lately. Last week I had several completely unsuccessful days. It seemed nothing landed in the potty, no pee, no nothing. But I don't see any reason for giving up. What, should I stop putting him on the potty altogether? I still have time, I am still able to. I am leaving him on the floor without a diaper now, we are working on a rash he has had for quite some time that doesn't seem to want to go away no matter how much lotramin I put on it. So maybe air will work.

He was doing so good a few weeks ago, I think I just need to step back and restore the bonds of communication. I need to think about his bodily rhythms and what he has been doing lately. What time has he been pooping? How often has he been peeing?

He's been waking up in the night again. I'm not sure if it's to nurse or because he is still teething. I nurse him in my barely conscious state and put him back to bed. Last night he woke up at 1 and at 4:45... I didn't change him at 1 but felt guilty about it at 4:45, what if he had pooped in his diaper earlier in the night and I made him sleep in it? What if he just wanted to be changed? In the middle of nursing I started stripping off his diaper. It was only wet and I felt a lot better. So I nursed him, put him on the potty and he didn't go, he must've gone right when he woke up. I put him back to bed. The plus side was that I got to spend more of the morning with just me and Ben because Levi then didn't wake up until about 8:30. It was nice, except Ben didn't get to see him that morning. I wonder how often that will be the case, that Ben won't get to see him in the mornings?

Well, that's my update for now. Still on the journey, still learning about my beautiful little boy and loving all of it.

Soon after I post about my EC potty failure Levi poops on the potty. It seems inevitable. I love my little one and how he always keeps me guessing.

Ben and I were talking about how he is such a good baby and pondering if it isn't because of my mothering style. I am not meaning to brag on myself, please don't get me wrong, but I think it's just the laid back approach. I think babies can really sense stress, it's human to sense stress and worry. I think it's important to make a decision not to worry or stress about, is he getting enough? Is he sleeping enough or too much or am I putting him on the potty too much or enough? None of those fears need to be feared. As mothers, we have been given by God a natural instinct to know what our child needs. If we have no idea what that is, we have the Holy Spirit to depend on. We are completely taken care of in these areas and worry is not something that has a hold in our lives.

I'm sure there are other factors to Levi being a good baby, such as his personality, but I can't help but also think that the attitude of the parent does play a valuable role.

Love you all!

Marcie said I needed to post :) So I think I will take the time for it.

I am still in the middle of reading "Diaper Free Baby" I will probably still be in the middle of it until Levi is potty independent. I'm not a fast reader and I just like to sit and think about what I am reading afterwards. That is why it is taking me so long to trudge through it.

I was just reading recently about a "potty pause" and what that meant. We are now in the middle of a potty pause. Levi has been having a tough time with teething. They said that developmental milestones can often result in a potty pause, or a setback in the training process. I haven't been able to catch hardly any pees or poops this week. He's been pretty fragile, so I've just been trying to be delicate with him. I imagine a mouth full of pain would make anyone cranky, so pottying has been on the back-burner so far.

Potty pauses can come when I child starts rolling over, crawling, teething. The best mindset in these types of situations is just to take a step back, give the child a break for a bit and then come back to it later. One woman scaled it back to pottying just once or twice a week. I'm still putting him on the potty, I just think the stress of life is too much for him to really think about it right now.

We've been waking up in the middle of the night this past week, I'm praying we will break this habit soon. I'm pretty delirious in the middle of the night. I've still been feeding him at those times, it seems the best way to calm him down and relax him.

Life has also been really busy this past week. I'm hoping that next week things will calm down and we will be at home bit more with less distractions. My lesson learned this week is not to say yes to everything. Since I am a mom I need to have fewer and more focused commitments. When I was single just a few years ago I came and went as I pleased and did whatever I wanted. When I got married I learned I needed to check with my husband first and scale back. Now, as I have become a mom I have learned those commitments need to be fewer and fewer. I'm happy for it though. Being a mom is far more fulfilling than those many things I used to pack my life with. I'm so grateful for my sweet baby and I pray that God blesses me with many more.

Well, I think I might have solved the problem of him waking up in the middle of the night. Levi likes it so hot that he is a sweaty mess when he wakes up. Seriously, I leave the space heater on all night and it becomes probably about 80 degrees in his room and he sleeps through the night. Any other time even when I put him in nice warm jammies he wakes up in the night and his little hands are cold. We have been leaving air and heat off and it winds up being somewhere between 68-70 degrees in our house at night. So I think it's a temperature thing. This is probably why he didn't sleep through the night at the other places we went... because Ben and I cannot sleep in 80 degree weather. Well, maybe we could, but it would not be pretty.

I am so glad for the spring weather! This has given us much more opportunity for diaper free time! He is peeing less now... maybe because he is sweating it all out! Ha! I have missed most of his poops these past few days, but that's okay, we have gotten a lot of pees. Some in the sink, some in the big toilet, some in his potty. I like to switch it up. The thing is, I'm not keeping track as much as I used to. EC is now just something that we do and it's not that big of a deal. If we need to go out, I put a diaper on him, if we are hanging out at home I can put him on the floor without a diaper while I read or cook or get on the internet. Our kitchen is probably the best place for that since we have wood floors and cleanup is a lot easier.

I have noticed that Levi's poops seem a lot runnier recently. Still the same color, just a lot more liquidy. Does that make sense? He doesn't seem to be sick or anything, so I don't know.

Another thing I have noticed and I don't know if this is good or bad, when I cue him he starts to grunt sometimes. Sometimes he pays no attention, then I know to take him off the potty if he doesn't pee within about a minute or two. The thing is, I don't want him to feel the pressure to push something out every time I put him on the potty. I am just giving him an opportunity to go. I have also noticed that I don't always have to cue him either. It's like he is becoming aware that this is what the potty is for... so that is good.

He usually has a good burp on the potty as well, which I feel like is a sign that he is relaxing and not holding anything in. So I think EC has mainly been a positive experience so far. Whenever it starts to feel difficult I just take a step back and breathe.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. I can only have this patience and love and gentleness through the Holy Spirit. He is my help and my salvation.

Well, we are back from the trip and pretty well settled in. The house was a mess yesterday and today is looking a little more orderly, it's just amazing to me how much laundry always needs to be done! I probably need to vacuum and dust and clean the bathrooms, but it was all I could do to get the kitchen cleaned and laundry folded. I did make it to the grocery store today and we went for a walk. So it was a productive day.

The traveling was difficult, but I think that's to be expected with a four month old. It would have been better if he could have used words like, "I need to pee" or "I'm hungry" or "I'm tired, I'm bored" But he didn't and so we had to just persevere through it.

I potty-ed him at rest stops as much as I could. The only problem is that McDonald's bathrooms are not always a comfortable place to potty your infant. Looking back I wish that we had just stopped at a picnic area and done it outside. I almost stuck him on a toilet while out in a Braum's parking lot, near the car on a patch of grass. The fresh air seemed so much nicer than the dirty tile in public restrooms. He had just had a screaming fit in the tiny bathroom with three other women in it. I couldn't do anything except wipe him up and put Desitin on his red little bottom. I hate diaper rashes. There was no way he was going to be able to calm down and pee in that tiny loud bathroom. So I just brought him out and nursed him.
Anyways, I almost pottyed him there but Ben said he didn't want to get a ticket. :)

Things like this are definitely a struggle. With him in the back seat I felt like our communication was next to nil. I think that made things more difficult.

He also slept a lot in the car so now I am guessing his sleeping patterns have been thrown off. He was sleeping through the night great, now he's waking up once or twice a night. This was not fun last night or the night before. : P

I am praying that we can get back to some sort of normalcy. I think I just need to really pay attention to what is going on with him.

He is also changing too. He is starting to enjoy toys. I have found that I can dangle a toy in front of him and it makes him stop crying... Miraculous!!! This was especially useful in the grocery store today. Instead of being inconsolable he laughed and played when I talked to him or gave him a toy. This is changing my life :)

I think he is really wanting to roll over and crawl. I think maybe his biggest problem right now is the size of his head. When he is on his tummy he picks up his head and his legs immediately go up as well. It's as though they are not heavy enough to keep his head in the air, so he has to arch his back. Hopefully he will gain some weight.

Okay, so all day I have been wanting to post about this morning's craziness! I was nursing Levi and he just felt like he was really super full, but he wasn't pooping and his nursing was slowing down, I wasn't near empty. So I took his diaper off, he didn't complain and I put him on his toilet and immediately he pooped and peed, it was like he was waiting for it! My husband came in and I told him about it. Levi had stopped for a bit so I assumed he was done. His diapers were in the wash so I took the diaper out from under him to actually put on him (a cloth one) and had a fleeting thought of putting him on his potty again. I sort of was looking at how much he had pooped, got distracted and like 5 seconds later he pooped everywhere! I mean, more like directly at my poor husband who was sitting there and playing with Levi. It shot out like 6 inches ... it was ridiculous! So we had to get the carpet cleaner and wipe it all up.

Lesson: I should have gone with my guts again that he might need to poop again. Now I won't be so quick to take him off and be quicker to put him on his toilet :)

So today has been a success and an unsuccess. I don't take myself too seriously if you can't tell already. :) I'm just excited about this process of teaching him to go on the toilet, this process of communicating and learning about what his little body needs and doesn't need.

He has been so fun and interesting to get to know. It's all just a process that feels like forever sometimes, and sometimes feels like passes by so quickly.

I am disappointed to miss the La Leche League Friday morning... I was hoping to talk to some of the other EC moms some more, oh well, it will come around again next month.

I need to get a wool blanket so I won't have to worry so much about my carpet during diaper free time.

I also want to get some infant training pants. I was thinking about making them but then my mom suggested getting the smallest I could find and altering them... that might be easiest, I'm not sure. Is $7 expensive for infant potty training pants? I'm not sure. I'll look online I guess.

Levi's going through a growth spurt. He's 4 months as of last Tuesday. Bout time for that. I feel like I'm nursing all the time. I think he might be kind of teething too :(

So when I started this blog I was thinking that I would post every day. But ... I mean, really? Is it possible to post about your baby's poop every single day?

So yesterday Levi had lots of pees in his potty. Not one poop. A few days before that we had almost all poops and no pees. This seems to be our pattern. I am now expecting us to have a completely off day where I put him on his potty at all the wrong times and we just live through it. :) Maybe it's good to expect days like that so that I'm not completely depressed that day.

I've been listening to Dave Ramsey's podcast while nursing and then EC-ing. I want to call in and talk about how EC could save new mommies hundreds of dollars on disposables and even money on washing diapers (water, detergent, time, ect...) But I'm pretty sure the phone screen-er wouldn't let me through on that one. I think an average of 2500 dollars is spent on disposable diapers in a child's life.

One thing I am thankful for is that we get some pees over with. Levi tends to overflow his diaper at night or during naps, but if we can make sure he gets some of his pee out beforehand that is pretty awesome.

Been reading in Christine's book Diaper Free Baby about EC-ing during middle infancy. Some good times to offer the potty are:
-after waking
-during or after nursing
-before leaving the house
-after returning home (if they aren't asleep in the car seat :) )
-right after taking the baby out of the sling, stroller or car seat
-when changing baby's diaper
-before or after bath
-before bed

Okay, so the after nap thing... sometimes if Levi isn't too upset when I get him I take off his diaper while he is lying in his crib, pick him up with a cloth diaper or two in my hand and just nurse him with a cloth diaper under him. This way I can see if he is pooping or peeing. He seems less likely to poop then, more likely to wait. I just have to watch for the pees. The cool thing is that if I just watch him closely I can usually put the cloth diaper over him and catch his fountain pretty cleanly. At this time I can cue him too. It works pretty well. Then after we are finished nursing I can just put him on his potty that I keep next to my nursing chair. I even put it on a stool so I don't have to bend over to put him on it.

I just have to make sure and retrieve the dirty diaper in his crib afterwords. Sometimes I come back some time later and see his little wet diaper in the crib... whoops. :)

Hello again! I know I haven't written since I had the depressing day. The only thing I can report now is that I LOVE EC!! I have received lots of encouragement from friends and books and things, mainly encouragement from my sweet Levi. He has been pooping in the morning and in the evening. I can almost just time it. I caught probably about 60% of his pees today. I am actually very amazed. There were only about 2 or 3 times I put him on his potty without him having to go. So, all in all, today was an extremely successful day.

The only thing I can say is hang in there. Don't let your bad days knock you down, just wake up the next morning and declare that today is a new day! I am praying for those of you who are not getting as much sleep out there. This can totally inhibit functioning abilities, so on those days don't worry about it so much. If you catch just one pee or one poop that day then you have one less diaper to clean, one less bit of a landfill to fill. :) The earth thanks you!

I am so excited to see and hear about those around me taking the steps to begin potty training. I have two friends who have recently started training their one-year-olds to go on the potty. Some have successful poops, some have successful pees, whatever it is I think it's amazing! Who would have thought we could revolutionize the potty training myths? I am so happy!

My other friends who are EC-ing their babies are amazing too. Way to go friends :)

Okay, so today has officially been and "unsuccessful day" I categorize a success as anything in the potty. Actually, now that I put it that way, I can't count today as unsuccessful. Today Levi pooped all over his pee pad (so thankful it didn't get on the carpet) and then I put him on his potty and he pooped about the size of a dime. So I guess that was sort of a success. Not really.

My standards are low so that on days like today I won't feel so bad and on good days like yesterday and the day before I will be soaring. And because I am working with a baby. :)
I'm working with a baby and he is only 16 weeks out of the womb, therefore, my standards need to be low. This is what I need to remind myself of in these moments when he is tired and I am tired and I just want to break down and cry in the midst of his screams. I need to step back and re-focus.

Re-focus on what is my goal? What are my intentions? Am I putting too much pressure on him? Am I offering the potty too often, not often enough? Am I keeping a loose eye on the clock? Is he well-rested? Does he have a rash? Stepping back seems like a healthy thing right now. Not quitting, I won't quit or throw in the towel all together, but I will just lay all these troubles down at the Father's feet and remember that His mercies are new every morning. Or just that His mercies are new after every nap time :)

Lord, give me strength for today. Your grace is sufficient for this impatient, overtired mommy. Teach me to love him as You have loved me. Let him grow into a strong man of faith and love. Let him be full of compassion and mercy for those around him. May he stand in fear of the Lord and lead others from sin into the beauty of knowing You and Your death on the cross. Thank you for perspective Lord. Thank you.